Sometimes the tunnel is so long and dark, that you slowly begin to enjoy the darkness and stop worrying about the light promised in the end. It can well be called as numbing boredom when pain and fear don't pinch and joy is a fable that only speaks through other's stories.
Of late, was tired of the confounding conundrum of emotions that often used to rig through my soul. My five senses worked like an army but every win or loss in life wasn't a celebration or grievance, it was just another moment in passing. Mom had attended the residential retreat at the monastery a fortnight ago that inspired me to pack my bags. More so walking in the dark with closed eyes wasn't an adventure I was enjoying.
I took a call on thursday and reached the monastery with a red bag stuffed with clothes and a soul stifled with silence. This sound of silence was deafening that had to be put to rest.
We were asked to stay away from the vagaries of the world. Phones were strictly banished which meant that for the next four days 'the facebook wall' won't be the writing I would be forced to read. Sometimes it seems that spending time on facebook fools me into believing that I too have a social life. Although most of the very few people I could befriend happened because I was eager to crawl across the wobbly web of social networking, being honestly vocal. And that means not using social networking was closing the box of my mind from which thoughts popped out like the bubbles in a bath tub, always ready to burst.
I decided to find answers in the spirit that people had given names and atheists had refuted. A few of the lessons I bought back from the monastery shall stay with me until the last nail on my coffin is not hammered. I am amused that it took me eons to realize that this was the person I had always wanted to be.
So here goes that list I had scribbled on a sheet of paper on the metro back home.